Our Eid Ul-Fitr Journey '09

Selamat Hari Raya dan mohon keampunan dan kemaafan di atas segala salah dan silap dari kami sekeluarga.

p/s: Sekarang ni dah pukul 1.07am. Tadi dah jawab komen2 sebelum ni, puas tekan id dan password tapi asyik keluar 'This form has an error'. Pastu pi komen blog CA pun dapat mesej yang sama. Fed up sebab dah tulis komen panjang tapi x leh nak publish, so hanya buat lawatan kehormat ajelah ke blog sedara mara dan rakan taulan...hihi..

Pukul 12 tengahari tadi kami baru tiba di rumah selepas 6 hari travel bermula pada hari Khamis, 17 Sept dalam pukul 10.30am. Kami memulakan perjalananan raya dari Dammam-Al-Qaseem-Madinah-Mekah-Taif-Riyadh-Dammam sejauh 2500km.

Nak tulis panjang2 pun dah mengantuk..letak gambar ajelah yer..

Absurdity

I read this entry from Fertzy blog and cried my heart out...tak tahu lah nape..heheh...

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbour.

We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorces, fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.

Remember, to spend some time with your loved ones because they are not going to be around forever.Remember,to say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.

Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.

Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again.Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away…..

Happy B'day Apik Mama..

Hari ni b'day Apik yang ke-3. Mama ingat lagi, masa Apik kecik semua orang cakap Apik baik. Che Long Siti cakap, Apik nampak cool aje. Che Long Aida (SIL) cakap dia tak pernah dapat anak yang sebaik Syafiq, tak banyak merengek masa kecil2..

Masa mama mengandungkan Apik, 110% mama confident mama akan dapat anak pompuan sebab rasa lain sikit mengandungkan Apik. Asyik nak something yang berbau rose ajer. Mama beli pencuci muka berbau Rose supaya gian pada bau Rose masa mengandung tu berkurangan. Mama suka tengok tennis, sebab dah confident sangat dapat anak pompuan, tiap kali Maria Sharapova main, mesti mama tenung jer orangnya. Mengikut petua sesetengah orang, kalau nak anak secantik/sehensem sapa2 tengoklah sentiasa muka orang tersebut. Sebab berkenan sangat kat Sharapova, mama nak anak pompuan secantiknya..hihi..

Mama bersyukur yang keluar ialah Wan Ikhwan Syafiq. Masa mengandungkan Syafiq, Papa sedang sibuk gotong-royong buat surau Al-Ikhwan. Kami menamakan Syafiq sempena nama surau tersebut.

Memang dari kecik sampailah sekarang, Apiklah anak mama yang paling tak banyak karenah. Dari kecik Apik suka tidur awal, bangun pagi tak merengek. Walaupun Apik masih hisap botol sekarang, Apik dah tak bangun malam.

Sebab Apik terlalu baik, mama kerap terlepas pandang pada Apik. Mama kerap melayan Iman, Abang dan Jat dari melayan Apik. Mama memang tak perasan sehinggalah masa mama balik bercuti di Kelantan, mama kerap ternampak Ayah Chik sentiasa melayan Apik. Mama tanya Ayah Chik, nape suka layan Apik, Ayah Chik jawab, 'Napok K.Da tok berapo cagho sangat ko dio..'. Mama rasa macam satu tamparan hinggap di muka mama..masa tu baru tersedar kebenaran kata2 adik mama itu..

Sejak berpindah ke sini banyak perkara menyebabkan mama rasa cukup tersentuh hati dengan kebaikan Apik. Mama masih ingat, masa tu mama tengah mandi. Apik tersedar, padahal papa ada tidur sebelah Apik. Bila mama melangkah keluar dari tandas tengok papa dah bangun. Mama pun terasa pelik kenapa papa dah bangun, hari masih awal. Papa cakap nampak Apik dok tercongok tunggu depan tandas nak susu. Tu yang papa bangun.

Kebiasaannya, Apik dan Iman tidur siang hari pada waktu yang sama. Entah kenapa satu hari tu Apik terlelap depan TV terlalu awal. Iman masih ceria lagi. Bila tengah hari, Apik dah segar bugar, Iman pula nak tidur. Kepenatan, mama terlelap bersama Iman. Beberapa kali mama tersedar dan ternampak Apik duduk di kepala mama. Bila mama betul2 sedar, mama tanya, 'Nape Apik tak main kat luar?'. Apik jawab, 'Apik tunggu mama...mama dah tak penat? Apik nak susu..'..

Dua tiga hari lepas, tengah malam Apik datang bisik di telinga mama Apik nak susu. Mama rasa malas pulak nak bangun malam tu. Mama cakap kat Apik, Apik minta dengan papa. Beberapa kali mama suruh Apik minta dengan papa. Mama nampak Apik berjalan ke arah papa. Pastu mama terlelap. Esoknya papa cerita, terkejut papa sedar2 tengok Apik berdiri kat tepi katil sebelah papa. Bila nampak papa buka mata, baru Apik cakap Apik nak susu..

Tapi, Allah swt itu sentiasa menguji hambaNya. Walaupun Apik baik dan tak banyak karenah, Apik kerap tidak sihat. Masalah keturunan asma turun kepada Apik. Sudah dua kali dimasukkan ke hospital.

Pertama kali masuk wad kerana jangkitan kuman di paru2. Mama ingat sampai sekarang. Masa tu mama hairan kenapalah Apik tak nyenyak tidur. Bila mama stop buai, Apik berbunyi 'uh..uh'. Dua jam begitu, mama angkat Apik dan mandikan. Selesai mandi, Apik memang tidak bermaya. Hanya terbaring dan tidak bergerak dan memejamkan matanya kembali. Mama cuba menelefon papa beberapa kali namun tidak bersambut kerana papa sedang meeting. Mama tinggalkan mesej kepada papa.

Agak sasau dan rasa sebak mula menyesakkan dada. Mama minta Abang dan Jat bersedia, mama kemaskan barang2 Apik. Hati naluri mama merasakan Apik akan ditahan dalam wad. Mama angkat Syafiq yang tidak bermaya ke dalam kereta. Abang dan Jat mengikut sahaja. Mama bawa aje kereta tak tahu samada nak menuju ke hospital swasta atau hospital Putrajaya. Berlegar2 mama seketika cuba untuk mencari jawapan yang terbaik dalam keadaan separa sasau itu. (Papa baru tiba dari ofis memangku Syafiq yang tidak bermaya)

3 hari sebelum sudah ke hospital Putrajaya. Sudah terlalu arif dengan karenah hospital kerajaan, mama berniat untuk bawa Syafiq ke hospital swasta. Dalam mama berlegar2 itu papa telefon minta mama tunggu sehingga papa tiba dirumah. Mama menuju ke rumah menunggu papa. Bila papa tiba kami membuat keputusan untuk bawa Apik ke hospital swasta. Company papa tidak menaja perubatan anak dan isteri. Papa dan mama sanggup berhabisan beribu ringgit demi kesihatan Apik. Asalkan Apik sihat dan ceria kembali, itu sahaja harapan mama dan papa.

Syafiq memang perlu diwadkan. Mama ingat lagi, hari tu Syafiq masuk wad, keesokkan harinya bulan Ramadhan. Mama memulakan Ramadhan di hospital. Masa tu juga mama sedang mengandungkan Iman 6 bulan. Keluarga mertua banyak membantu ketika ini. Mami datang ke hospital mengambil Abang dan Jat untuk tidur di rumahnya.(Diwadkan kali pertama berusia setahun)

Masa di hospital, Apik perlu dibuang kahak menggunakan alat khas. Kami berdua perlu tabah ketika proses dijalankan. Syafiq dibalut kemas dengan kain selimut kecil supaya tidak dapat bergerak. Pergerakan yang kuat boleh membawa kepada pendarahan. Papa dan mama sendiri yang perlu memegang Syafiq yang sudah dibalut kemas dalam selimut kecil. Wayar jernih dimasukkan ke dalam hidung dan mulut. Sesekali ternampak darah keluar. Raungan Syafiq cukup menyentuh hati. Hati ibu mama perlu kuat. Mama cuma mahu sayang mama cepat2 sihat.

Pada awalnya, Jat sempat merakamkan proses ini. Tapi, disebabkan kami berdua tidak tahan melihatnya, kami 'delete'kan sahaja.

Alhamdulillah, 5 hari berkampung di hospital, Apik sihat kembali. Masa tu Apik genap setahun.Apik kurus selepas keluar dari hospital..

Kali kedua, Apik masuk wad lagi pada hari raya kedua di Hospital Raja Perempuan Zainab I (dulunya dikenali dengan HBKB), juga lung infection. Mama tetap setia menunggu Apik sehingga Apik sihat. 3 hari berkampung di hospital. Nasib baik keluarga mama di sisi. Umi, Ayah, adik-beradik dan ipar semua memberi sokongan padu dengan menolong tengok2kan Abang, Jat dan Iman yang baru berusia 8 bulan. Umi puji Iman. Umi cakap senang tidurkan Iman. Gosok2kan kepalanya, Iman terlelap. Baik budak ni, ujar Nek Mi pada mama. Alhamdulillah semua Allah swt permudahkan. Masa Apik diwadkan kali kedua, Apik genap dua tahun.

Doktor yang melihat rekod Syafiq mengkategorikan penyakit Apik sebagai yearly event!

Semalam masa mama nak solat maghrib, mama cakap kat Apik, 'Esok b'day Apik. Esok Apik 3 years old..'. Apik diam saja. Apik cakap Apik nak solat dengan mama. Mama ambik sejadah kecik untuk Apik. Mama cakap kat Apik, 'Kalau Apik rajin solat, nanti Allah swt sayang Apik, mama pun sayang Apik.' Apik tanya mama, 'Nanti Allah sayang Apik yer mama?'. Mama jawab, 'Yelah, Apik solat pastu Apik doa pada Allah swt supaya Apik sentiasa sihat.' Mama sentiasa percaya doa anak2 kecil ini akan dimakbulkan.

Tiba-tiba Apik cakap kat mama, 'Mama...Apik tak nak sakit lagi...Apik tak nak cucuk kat tangan lagi...Apik sakit cucuk kat tangan'..

Hari ni B'day Apik, Apik tak berapa sihat. Muntah2. Ni Apik sedang tidur kepenatan selepas muntah entah untuk kali ke berapa. Mama doakan sayang mama semoga cepat2 sihat...

Laksam @ isteri solehah

Pagi tadi Kak Dawiyah, satu2nya jiran Malaysia mama yang menyewa kat atas nih kasik laksam. Bessstttttnyer..dah lama tak makan laksam. Kuah laksam tu asli dengan bunga kantannya, dengan daun kesumnya...nyum..nyum...laksamnya vercemilli tapi asalkan kuahnya laksam tak kisahlah. Suami Kak Dawiyah balik Malaysia sorang2 minggu lepas atas urusan penting, tu yang Kak Dawiyah ada semua bahan2nya dan mama cukup bertuah berjiran dengan Kak Dawiyah yang hari2 hantar makanan..heheh..

Ingat tadi nak baham sorang2, tiehee...lagipun bukannya hubby tahu...kikikik... Handphone pulak tengah2 syok tepon cakap dengan my dearest Umi habis kreditlak. Niat untuk mengkhabarkan kisah bahagia makan laksam to hubby pun berkecai. So, dia tak tahu ler ada laksam kat rumah nih..hihihi... Hmmmm...nak habiskan ke tak yer? Tapi, nak jadik isteri solehah..share..share dengan hubby, almaklumlah nak telan laksam kat sini payah bangat... Hmmmm...makan daun kesum saja aci tak? Mama suka dan rinduuuuuuu kat daun kesum... Oit, tadi kata nak jadi isteri solehah! Dah, pi simpan dalam peti! Ngeeee...

Jumping Rope @ Tali Skipping

Masa kecik2 dulu, suka main 'tali skipping' nih. Minggu lepas, pegi beli barang2 dapur di Tarmimi Market ternampaklak tali skipping, terusla rembat. Niat di hati nak 'mengecil'kan badan. Lagipun, mama aim 56kg by the end of this year. Alamak lagi 5 bulan! Sejak dok sini selama 2 bulan rasanya badan macam dipam2. Kalau bersenam pun setakat vacuum dan mengemop. Pastu jalan dalam 10 kaki ke tempat jemur kain yang jugak dalam rumah. Bersenam yang paling kerap ialah berjalan ke dapur dan ngap! ngap! ngap!

Shopping Mall kat sini bukan macam kat Malaysia yang tiap2 floor ada mesin penimbang. Kalau kat Alamanda, satu floor tu entah berapa mesin penimbang. Shopping mall kat sini memang tak de langsung mesin penimbang...Tak tahula berapa berat mama sekarang..

3 jam lepas beli, sebelah tempat pemegang dah tercabut. Tak perasan pun bila masa la anak2 teruna mama ambik tali skipping mama nih bawak masuk dalam bilik mereka. Siap tutup pintu lagi. Bila mama bukak pintu, Jat ikat hujung 'tali skipping' tu kat pinggang dan berdiri di tepi katil, manakala Abang dan anak jiran, Umar duduk di hujung katil sambil menarik tali skipping dari hujung sebelah lagi satu. Pastu Jat cakap, 'Pegang kuat-kuat!', Abang dan Umar tarik tali skipping tuh sekuat yang boleh dan 'toing' Jat melompat dari katil yang setinggi peha mama.. Ekekekek.. mama tergelak.. sebijik macam bungee jumping..

'Tali skipping' tu boleh digunakan walaupun sedikit kurang selesa sebab sebelah tak de pemegang. Hari mama mula2 beli, terus mama bersenam dengan tali skipping tanpa warm-up dulu sebab ter'over' excited tambah2 terkenang zaman kanak2 dulu dan ingatkan ek..eleh..semese' (tu dalam loghat kelate, translationnya ..ek..eleh.. toooooo easy...hihihi..). Eheh..terlupalak badan dah berkali2 ganda kembangnya dari zaman kanak2 dulu dan dah lama tak bersenam, 2 kali lompat jer, mama dah semput tahap gaban..kuang, kuang, kuangggggg... Jantung punyala berdenyut kencang...kes lamaaaa tak bersenam, tiba2 toing! toing! toing! melompat..darah pulak rasa menyelinap naik ke kepala..heheh..

Hari ni masuk hari ketiga bersenam dengan tali skipping. Start dengan warm-up dulu, pastu alhamdulillah dapatla mencecah 10x lompat eeeerrrkkkk... still mengah-mengah tahap gaban lepas toing! toing! 10x. Pastu ngada2 sikit cuba lompat dengan tali pusing ke belakang. 2x kali toing! toing! Pastu tak lepas..heheh..tapi memang rasa macam selama ni darah tak berjalan dengan lancar kes tersangkut kat lelemak yang berkumpul dalam saluran darah, lepas toing! toing! rasa segar sikit..ooops..lupa nak cakap, toing! toing! tu dibuat dalam bilik tak de air cond yang kepanasan di luar rumah mencecah 43 darjah celcius..Semalam mencecah 49!

Woh Seto, Mok te dan Durian

Tadi pegi Tarmimi Market yang jauh sikit dari rumah. Best pergi Tarmimi nih sebab ada barang2 dari Asia. Dah lama sebenarnya rindu nak makan sambal durian Umi. Memang sedap sambal durian Umi ni, makan dengan ayam goreng atau ikan goreng pun dah cukup..siap boleh bertambah2 lagi...tu cerita masa dok M'sia laa...sambil2 menaip nih, naik kecur air liur...

Kat Tarmimi tadi, masuk jer, memang suka start di bahagian buah2an dan sayur. Yang pertama sekali nampak ialah Durian...yeaaaaa! Adala dalam 3 bijik. Tengok harga...SR77 sebijik.. Buah rambutan pulak 10 bijik SR12 dan buah seto (manggis)..7 bijik SR19. (Harga rambutan dan manggis nih tengok masa mula2 datang dulu kat Tarmimi dekat rumah)

Errrrkkk..none of the above kami rembat..:P

Kutip-mengutip..

Mama baru jer lepas mengutip something smelly that fell out from my youngest son's diapers. Dalam 3 hari, dah dua kali mama pick up this yucky stuff...ayooooo..

By the way, I enjoy reading this simple and yet touching Invisible Mom (songlap from Aini's blog..heheh)

Invisible Mother......

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store.

Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'

Obviously, not.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all.

I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated sum a cum laude -but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going; she's going; she is gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England ..

Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in.

I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself.

I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'

It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe ..

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:

'To My Dear Friend, with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:

No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.

It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'you're going to love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.

And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Great Job, MOM!